I get what you’re saying. However, my meaning is more “this can lead you into worse problems” = unhealthy coping. Alcohol worked fantastic for me to cope! But holy shit that has often led to worse situations and terrible health consequences.
People use painting to cope. Writing. Music Ways to express yourself and explore how you feel without self-destruction. Ways to explore things that suck without potentially harming in worse ways.
Saying “this is how I cope!” while doing self-harm is unhealthy. It’s a wobbly-ass crutch that is also full of glass that will hurt you if you once you lean on it too hard.
Do I blame folks for unhealthy coping? No. Not at all. I get it 100%. But a lot of it is used to numb the pain and ignore things instead of addressing it, and can turn into habit that will make your life so much worse, on top on your initial problems.
I think we’re saying the same thing, I’m just adding an additional line:
Coping = short term numbing the pain.
Survival Strategy/Crutch = long term numbing the pain.
Healing = working through those feelings.
And in this framework, sure, some coping mechanisms are healthier than others, but since they’re all short-term only and allow you to move into the headspace to heal, they’re basically all valid and healthy for that purpose.
And most people will use some sort of crutch to get into that headspace.
Missing out on a promotion and drawing a painting right in your bosses office after receiving the message is as difficult and unrealistic as sitting down right there and then and meditating on that feeling. Most people will try to make it through the day with distraction, be it alcohol, work, sugar or all of them combined. Once people are home, then they will paint their picture, go for a walk, sit down and meditate, talk to a friend, whatever their healing strategy may be.
And people who continue with their coping strategy turn it into a crutch. And that is when it becomes unhealthy.
The main advantage of having this short-long term differentiation is preventing the shame of using something addictive and thus causing you to beat yourself up over it. But other than that distinction I agree with your points fully.
I get what you’re saying. However, my meaning is more “this can lead you into worse problems” = unhealthy coping. Alcohol worked fantastic for me to cope! But holy shit that has often led to worse situations and terrible health consequences.
People use painting to cope. Writing. Music Ways to express yourself and explore how you feel without self-destruction. Ways to explore things that suck without potentially harming in worse ways.
Saying “this is how I cope!” while doing self-harm is unhealthy. It’s a wobbly-ass crutch that is also full of glass that will hurt you if you once you lean on it too hard.
Do I blame folks for unhealthy coping? No. Not at all. I get it 100%. But a lot of it is used to numb the pain and ignore things instead of addressing it, and can turn into habit that will make your life so much worse, on top on your initial problems.
I think we’re saying the same thing, I’m just adding an additional line:
Coping = short term numbing the pain. Survival Strategy/Crutch = long term numbing the pain. Healing = working through those feelings.
And in this framework, sure, some coping mechanisms are healthier than others, but since they’re all short-term only and allow you to move into the headspace to heal, they’re basically all valid and healthy for that purpose.
And most people will use some sort of crutch to get into that headspace.
Missing out on a promotion and drawing a painting right in your bosses office after receiving the message is as difficult and unrealistic as sitting down right there and then and meditating on that feeling. Most people will try to make it through the day with distraction, be it alcohol, work, sugar or all of them combined. Once people are home, then they will paint their picture, go for a walk, sit down and meditate, talk to a friend, whatever their healing strategy may be.
And people who continue with their coping strategy turn it into a crutch. And that is when it becomes unhealthy.
The main advantage of having this short-long term differentiation is preventing the shame of using something addictive and thus causing you to beat yourself up over it. But other than that distinction I agree with your points fully.