When I was a teenager, I thought people in their 20’s were the most attractive. Now that I’m about 40, I still think people in their 20’s are the most attractive. It’s hard for me to believe that I might ever be attracted to someone past retirement age, even when I’m past retirement age myself, unless the person is like one of those celebrities who look way younger than they are.
This isn’t something I can comfortably ask most older people I know, but there’s one man who admits that he isn’t and one woman who is. Which is more normal?
There is a reason why retirement homes and nursing facilities are the #2 highest locations for STIs, behind college campuses.
I’ve heard that statistic but it doesn’t match what I’ve seen in my own family. My grandparents weren’t physically intimate with each other even when I was a kid and they were relatively young. (I lived with them so I would have noticed if they ever wanted private time together, and they never did.) This, combined with the fact that many people in nursing homes are in no condition to actually have (consensual) sex, makes me wonder if the explanation for that statistic is not as straightforward as it seems.
I have family in the medical field (ER nurse and travelling nurse). The ER nurse said that the younger people come in with sex-related traumatic injury more, but the older people come in with more STIs.
The travelling nurse frequents rehab facilities (nursing homes) for both mentally handicapped and geriatric care. He said that there is a very similar amount of STIs between both facilities, basically meaning that they are getting physical about the same amount.
I’m… Unfortunately older than I wish I was. I am very solidly Gen X. I still find young people physically attractive. But I also find people my own age attractive; I most certainly would not have found people my age attractive when I was in my 20s. Even though I may find younger people attractive, I have zero interest in relationships with them. Not only do I already have a partner, but I simply have nothing in common with most of them. If I make references to Thundercats or He-Man, that shit is going to go entirely over their heads, and I’m likewise not going to understand any of their cultural references.
You’re one of several people mentioning shared cultural references, but if you’re male and your partner is female then I’m surprised that she has any interest in things like Thundercats or He-Man regardless of her age. I’m more of a Transformers fan myself and I’ve never even met a woman who would respond to anything Transformers-related with more than just polite disinterest.
I’m a nerdy heterosexual man, and in my experience practically no women share my interests or hobbies. Therefore my relationships have been built around doing the things that pretty much everyone enjoys - eating a nice meal, going for a walk, talking about current events, playing with pets, etc. A good partner is someone who enjoys doing these ordinary things with me. Maybe someone who does share my interests would be even better but I don’t think finding a person like that is likely enough to be worth passing up other opportunities.
I wonder why your experience is apparently so different from mine. Am I unusual or are you?
[…]if you’re male and your partner is female then I’m surprised that she has any interest in things like Thundercats or He-Man regardless of her age.
First, I wouldn’t suggest assuming that.
Second, the point isn’t that a partner has to like these things, but they do have to have some kind of awareness of them. You could substitute Smurfs, Family Ties, Michael Jackson’s breakout album Thriller, or watching the Challenger explode on live television because everyone in the school was watching Sally Ride go into space. Or George Bush’s famous “Read my lips: no new taxes” speech. There are a million events that are foundational to who you become. When the person that you’re dating–or in a relationship with–don’t share any of those cultural moments, it’s much more difficult to build a lasting relationship. Not impossible, but harder; that’s true with any cross-cultural relationship as well.
Common interests are nice, yeah, but they aren’t everything. Shared values—and values are very strongly shaped by the things you were exposed to growing up–are probably the single biggest thing; if you don’t share core belief systems (morals, ethics, what is important, meaning, etc.), then it’s unlikely that a relationship can survive.
I’m 30. At this point, 21-year-olds are nice to look at but generally horrible to talk to. I’d not really want to date someone under 25 because they’re immature, inexperienced with life/politics, and often annoying. I’ve always preferred people who are just above my own age because I like to engage socially and intellectually with my partners.
Maybe if I had a lot of money and wanted to hire a sex worker, I’d go for someone under 25 (depends on the person), but for actual intimacy with someone I want to keep around? Someone my age, please. I feel physical repulsion at the thought of being with a teenager or someone in their early 20s.
It’s probably somewhat normal to find younger people physically attractive, but what does that mean to you? Are you going to be marrying someone who is 21 at 50? That’s not typical and won’t be easily accepted.
You don’t have to fantasize about wrinkles or whatever to be attracted to an older person. Mariska Hargitay is fucking hot, so is Gillian Anderson, Jonathan Frakes, and Karl Urban. It’s not because they’re old, it’s because they’re still good-looking despite age and maintain their bodies.