I don’t think it’s something limited to Fedi, but internet in general. The whole social media “algorithm” promotes such posts, an edgy extreme post filled with hate will get more reactions and upvotes, than a “lame” conventional opinion, so you’re more likely to see it. I am not sure how to even fix it, I think it’s one of the fundamental problems if the internet, but this is how it is

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1. Diaspora* only supports diaspora protocol. It has about a few thousands MAU I’d say. If you use it you can interact with Diaspora* users and with Friendica/Hubzilla users from servers that have the diaspora addon. You can see a list of Diaspora* pods here.

2. Friendica on the other hand natively supports ActivityPub, and has addons for BlueSky, Diaspora* and Tumblr (Not all servers have them enabled). It has 3k MAU, but you can communicate with much wider range of folk. There’s also the Friendica directory, allowing you to find interesting folk to follow much more easily. If you want a stable instance I can recommend https://friendica.world/ , it’s managed by the admins of lemmy.world .