That’s tragic. I’m sorry to hear that. A cursory search shows a lawsuit for grooming a minor that was settled out of court. Not a good look at all.

[Seinfeld voice] “What’s the deal with white, suburban, middle-class people?”

Edit: Oops. Technically, that was The Left Rights. I’ll leave this here because “close enough.”

I’m not familiar with their personal lives. Would you mind expanding on that?

All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.

7 whole days a week, I’m told.

Well, now you can!:

https://youtu.be/B0AX81gv5aM

Melissa Joan Hart approved this message.

Oof. “49th parallel” has some strong Korea vibes, and Canada definitely isn’t looking like it’s going to be the North Korea of the two.

I would, and thank you.

Who’s gonna tell him he can’t just burn it down for the insurance money?

Companies of the same gender touching each other’s equity sounds kinda gay.

Household “at risk” as kitchen fire engulfs top floor.

Article that doesn’t require an email address:

https://thehill.com/opinion/criminal-justice/5224229-trump-makes-history-by-pardoning-a-corporation/

By the way, guess which company is involved with Melania Coin.

What are the chances a penguin bit him as he was trying to harass it, and this is the resultant tantrum?

One funny aspect is that it doesn’t affect the penguins. Not just because they’re penguins and would only blink, squawk, and flutter their wings if one tried to tax them, but more importantly, because we have zero trade with them.

“Sir, we’re seeing no revenue from the penguin tarrif!”

“What’s the current rate?”

“It’s already at 250 percent!”

“Very well, then. Raise it to 25,000%. We’ll teach those penguins a lesson in math they’ll never forget!”

This actually makes slightly more sense, because we might actually send things to Mars.

Amen. This is also me if raises don’t exceed inflation this year:

https://youtu.be/1q82twrdr0U

Do we really want to know?

Abed, stop being meta! Why do you always have to take whatever happens to us and shove it up its own ass?