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Cake day: July 5th, 2023

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  • Step One. Count all of the calories you eat in a day. Check that nutritional info, do the math, add it up, see what you’re eating without leaving anything out.

    Step Two. Try to minimize sugar, carbs, and bad fat, while maximizing protein and fiber. My go-to daily meal plan is steel cut oatmeal in the morning, sweetened with baking splenda, pinch of salt, and cinnamon. Intermittent fast through lunch with coffee. Dinner is open face (so only 1 slice of bread) turkey sandwiches, Black bean soup spiked with tobasco and extra black beans. For dessert, make a big ol bowl of banana cream or vanilla pudding with skim milk. Find a meal plan that works for you, you don’t have to eat the same thing everyday, but have that back-up meal plan ready to go in case you don’t feel like making something different.

    Step Three. Don’t inhale your food. It takes your body 20 minutes between attaining a “full” stomach, and your stomach alerting your brain to that fact. Thus, pacing your food is important. How to do that? PUT THE FOOD DOWN. If you pick up your sandwich, eat half, then put it back down, take a drink of water, then you can finish it. Have a big ass glass of water with every meal. I also buy baby carrots, you can get a nice 1 lb bag, and in between dinner items, eat a handful of baby carrots. They’re crunchy, full of water, and help you pace yourself through dinner.

    Step Four. Go for a walk after you eat. A little bit of exercise, even a walk around the neighborhood for a few minutes, is enough to to tell your body that you want it to take all that energy you just took in, and use it immediately. You’re telling your body “Hey, don’t put all that energy into long term (fatty) storage, make it available, and of use right now.”

    Step Five. Add in Exercise at your own pace. Start with something manageable, achievable, and then make it routine. Whether that means walking your dog instead of just letting them out into the yard, start small, build at your own pace. Make it a daily habit. (Pro-tip, whenever you feel like skipping a day, tell yourself all you have to do is get dressed for the exercise and do it for five minutes. if you do that much and still feel off, you’re allowed to take a rest day. The majority of the time, once you get started, you start to feel better and end up doing it. the key is getting dressed and putting yourself into the position to do it, even if you allow yourself to stop. just keep putting yourself into position to succeed with your new habit.) This also works as an effective daily anti-depressant.

    Step Six. Reward yourself for achievements. When you start these things, your body will respond, and you will feel better, more confident, sexier in your own skin. Celebrate with some new clothes that let you show it off. Feel good about it, it’s something you earned!

    Step Seven. Allow for cheat days. This you can do every week, every two weeks, whenever you decide. If you find yourself going hard-core on the diet and then crashing into a food frenzy, it’s because your going too hard, and need to allow for a cheat day. Be kind to yourself if you break your diet on a miserable day, and use that as information to consult when scheduling your next cheat day. The long term goal is to reorganize your thoughts around food, and having specific times when you let yourself go whole hog on a bag of Oreos or whatever, lets you recognize that behavior as a reward, or special circumstance, and not a daily activity.

    Congrats, you’re now feeling better, looking better, and those two facts will reverberate through the rest of your life like ripples through a pond, making you happier and healthier.













  • nah fuck that. Bernie will go out in a blaze of glory, double middle fingers to the sky, falling straight from the oval office into a coffin after guaranteeing All Americans get equal access to universal healthcare and a secondary four year/vocational school education. He’ll take money out of politics and raise taxes on the 1% so hard they’ll revert back into normal fuckin people. He’ll invest in High speed rail, green energy, while simultaneously legalizing weed.

    The man has been working his whole life towards these goals, I say we help him get there.


  • Rojas, known as “Dr. Maria,” is a nurse practitioner who has been a licensed midwife in the US since 2018; she previously worked as an obstetrician in Peru. She owns and, before her arrest, operated four health care clinics in the Houston area called Clínicas Latinoamericanas, which predominantly serve low-income Spanish-speaking patients.

    If you don’t want back-alley abortions to become the norm, then you must be in favor of Roe V. Wade, no? Making legal abortions illegal, will only increase the number of back alley abortions.