You can’t start your smartphone addiction too early. That’s why we developed a phone that can be unlocked without fingerprints for 8 weeks old fetuses and younger

Not the crossover we deserve but the crossover we never knew we desperately needed

“And don’t forget to say ‘no homo’ after orgasm”

That’s why I don’t tell my favorite color that early

Holy hell!

that’s the right one again…

Actually 🤓 it was the wrong one

Is it used in English as well? Do you live in an area with many German immigrants?

It’s already past midnight where I live… and I live so close to the date line that it’s Thursday already.

I don’t believe in mystical creatures like unicorns, giraffes and groundhogs!

Too late for that

Gesundheit

Most houses can’t jump at all so I wouldn’t be too sure about that

You say Gesundheit to avoid religious language

I say Gesundheit because I live in Germany

We are not the same

Don’t dead open inside

It is /s

Fuck ownership! Sell all you have and follow Jesus!

That’s why I don’t drink alcohol: most alcoholic drinks also contain this substance and you can’t even ask because most people don’t even know.

I once thought I saw a real horse. Turned out it was just a unicorn that lost its horn

c/bananaforscale

Where is the camera on the phone? How is the phone itself on the photo? If you ask me, this is fake