The only acceptable French response:

She truly is the pigeon strutting around shitting on the chess board 🤮

Shit man how did you get rabies?

Weeell turns out that hole in mother nature I was fucking, contained a family of foxes that didn’t really appreciate the presence of my pickle

Do you really think the White House does not currently have a fiber connection?

The most likely scenario: this is all just a show.

They’ll install a bunch of antennas and of course pay Dear Leader’s favorite little drug addict indecent amounts of money, but in the background nothing will change and they’ll use the existing, sane infrastructure.