Couch Fucker: Denmark isn’t doing enough to keep Greenland safe!

Reporter: Safe from who?

Couch Fucker: From us of course!

The thing that pisses me off the most about all of this is Edolph Muskler is giving ketamine a bad name with his ridiculous behavior.

Seth Meyers’ jokes at Trump’s expense during the 2011 White House Correspondents dinner have been identified by those close to Trump as the moment he decided to seriously run for President.

Seth Meyers made this problem, it’s up to him to fix it. Bonus points if he gets Trump to quit using only jokes.

It’s like they think of they can say whatever they want often enough and enough people will hear it, then suddenly it’s a real fact.

It worked for Trump. Twice!

This! If Trump leaves office in anything but shame and universal disapprobation, a new Trump with a different name but the same tactics will emerge. Americans need to learn the lesson for this madness to end.

This is the “fuck around” portion. I fear for ordinary Americans when the “find out” part comes.

Or bladder volume…

Commodore64 gang represent!

It is the 41st Millennium.

For more than a hundred centuries Donald Trump, the Emperor of America, has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Washington. He is the master of the US by the will of the nutjobs and master of a million tariffs by the might of his moronic followers. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Generative AI. He is the MAGA Lord of the vast Imperium of America for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day so that he may never truly die.

Yet even in his deathless state, everything is still Joe Biden’s fault.

I hate the north, they put up their nose at us like we’re peasants.

🎵Journalist caught me on Signal (It wasn’t me)

He saw me schemin’ on Yemen (It wasn’t me)

Even list of ordinance (It wasn’t me)

He even caught me on a screenshot (It wasn’t me)

He saw the bombs dropping on Sanaa (It wasn’t me)

Heard the words the CIA told me (It wasn’t me)

Late night host laughter getting louder (It wasn’t me)

Shouldn’t have drunk that vodka!🎶

Don’t feed the trolls

That’s Noob Saibot. To unlock him you need to:

• Choose Pete Hegseth as your P1 character
• Immediately before the first round begins (the instant the “Fight!” prompt is about to appear), hold the following buttons simultaneously: Back + Low Punch + Low Kick + High Punch + Block.

But he’s kind of right, isn’t he? Xavier Musk did die, and Vivian Wilson was born.

Is Elon a pro-trans activist and his recent slide to the far-right has just been a meticulously orchestrated plan to get him embedded in the Trump White House?.. probably not, more likely it was the ketamine talking.

I forgot about Breaking Bad! That was ricin from castor oil beans, but ricin is the opposite of slow acting.

At least remove the batteries first, they’re useful.

Apple seeds contain cyanide. You’d have to crush and eat anywhere from 150 to a few thousand seeds for it to be fatal though. I’m sure that hasn’t stopped authors from using it before.

I believe the kids these days call it “frotting”