Please please please let there be a long bacon store.

Has technology reached it’s zenith?

Drug cartels HATE him.

What happens if you jerk it off?

Their butthole just follows your eyes around the room like a creepy painting.

I had no idea that

We thank you balloon master!

Did people just slowly turn to the other people to make eye contact while blastin a dook?

Hier kommt die Sonne

I look back on these days of my youth, and smile for I can now detect scrambled nipples in the waves of multicolored distortion.

The toilet bowl is for loading and unloading ONLY.

It’s okay to eat 5 rolls of sushi babe!

“Awwww what a cute little puppy-“

Tell me Clarice do the lambs still scream?

“You know what, let’s look at the cats.”

Is this not what our forefathers first dreamed of when they looked up at the stars in wonder?

Some “tough guy” divided by zero.

The Virgin Mary witnessing the arrival of the alien armada.

Number 6 always felt like a betrayal when you realized it wasn’t black.

This is a gross oversimplification of two distinct and well studied fields. Good luck getting an Oxford fellow to comment on big ol anime tiddies or getting a Harvard professor to know the kind of porn Lincoln beat his meat to.

The “Just the Tip” system.

Whyyyyyyyy did they discontinue these!?