The only thing I remember from that video is not liking it

Ever see that horrifying video where one gator just straight up bites and death-rolls right off with another gator’s foot? Anyway, this video seems like a fun idea.

is coming up with objects to compare things to a job position that exists? I want to apply for that. You’d spend the day browsing databases of things by size and picking out the weirdest ones.

Yes, this was your job interview and you failed. You neglected to compare the number of rows in the databases to number of pages in, say, the entire Harry Potter series.

If you keep your license to practice up to date, you can reapply in two years.

Fucking shots fired!

Surprising since we’re the ones with the fascism-fighting boomstick laws

Americans tell Vance he’d be better as a boat anchor

It’s gotta be at least 2027 by now…

“My daddy, Peter Thiel, says that I get to wear a hat at the table. My daddy, Peter Thiel, says that I get to be vice president. My daddy, Peter Thiel, says that my children don’t hate me even when they say that they do. My daddy, Peter Thiel, sa…”

Thank goodness I’m unpunchable

Look at ol’ Lumpy Farts Kash

On behalf of my state, I’d like to accept this award and furthermore inform my fellow citizens that licking this trophy will temporarily cure your allergies and make you unpunchable

Corrected for metric system:

At 19 weeks, a fetus is about the size of a mango, innit

Don’t forget about starving the poor so that they’ll send their kids to the mines

If working families like yours will pay the price, we’ll pay the price. And up and up until someone with “fuck you” money tells us to fuck ourselves.

“Wah, I killed democracy and now no one is left to protect me.”

Fix this fucking mess and then go fuck off in a bog or something, you goddamn snake

Good. This country needs to learn how to kick fascists in the teeth, and I’m more than happy for us to start with my state as a demonstration

You’re being really negative and focusing too much on your cancer medications. C’mon, think of all the other great ways you could die! All the safety and infrastructure associations are getting dismantled, so you could easily fall down something or get crushed. If you want to focus on medications, have you ever considered forced medical trials??

/s and my heart always hurts for you, but I hope you found a chuckle in there somewhere.

Yeah, but out of how many? Like, 6, right???

On the other side, there are literally 15 bajillion pedophiles, all of them because they aren’t bigoted enough!

Checkmate, someone I don’t like! 😡

Ocean’sGulf of America’s Eleven

I didn’t realize how hot history is! Got any stories about goats or oddly-colored waffles???

Why are you quoting some of my Israeli family?