If you’re running the security directorate of a hostile nation, savor this moment. It’s never been easier to steal secrets from the United States government. Can you even call it stealing when it’s this simple? The Trump administration has unlocked the vault doors, fired half of the security guards and asked the rest to roll pennies. Walk right in. Take what you want. This is the golden age.
Just book a room at Mar a lago and check the bathrooms.
Don’t even bother. Just look in the nightstand drawer. They’re right there, where the bibles used to be. And if you look on the desk, there’s a convenient menu of services available for those interested in a little light corruption.