My go to is the “See yourself as the price.”-approach. When you jokingly set her up that she is hitting on you. For example:
Her: So, you want anything to drink?
Me: Oh I see, already trying to get me drunk, eh?
Here is my favorite technique:
“First treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again.” -Shawn (Psych)
Treating some like a person first is really the most important thing. Everything else is optional but people like to be treated special for a while before being a person again.
Be best friends with her for yyears. Then literally just look at each other, shrug and say “Meh…might as well fuck”.
You sound 12, no offense. It’s also “prize”, not “price”, within the context of what you said.
Become a ball of anxiety, never talk to them, remain alone.
Be a normal person around them without trying anything. If they like you, you’ll notice it.
… usually randomly 5 years afterward.
I have seen many women do this actually. Never worked
I have had friends say years after things like “oh I’d screw your brains out the second you wagged your finger at me”. Or “oh so men and women can’t be just friends” when they were interested in me and I was into them. I do flirt and show interest, rarely have any response, yet years later, when we are just friends (or if she or I are in a relationship) I get confessions. Maddening.
“Hi, I’m an ultra boring nerd girl. I’m on several Fediverse platforms. …No, I don’t know Nicole. Please don’t follow me. No seriously please don’t.”
I’m not very good at socialising, sorry
swoon
Being near them for 4 years as a casual acquaintance and hoping they eventually initiate something.
And how’s that going for ya?
The best way to talk to a woman is to treat her like a person
Bingo. My approach to this is being really honest. Just tell her you’re interested and how you’re interested. See where the conversation goes from there.
Prize, not price. And thinking unrealistically high of yourself will only attract low self-esteem girls. If that’s your thing, great for you.
The best strategy in my experience is being yourself, not artificially bending towards what you think will look attractive. Self confidence is more attractive than narcissism, at least for my type of girl.
is being yourself, not artificially bending towards what you think will look attractive.
If I’m understanding you correctly. Those things aren’t necessarily exclusive to each other in my opinion. I am constantly thinking of something funny to say because I like saying funny or flirtatious things. And you can learn these things, yet still hold true to oneself.
Yes, there is overlapping. You make an effort to say funny and witty things, partly because you think it will make you look smart, hence attractive, and partly because you enjoy making her laugh. Which part is the biggest influences how confident you seem.
Disassociate and make funny small talk while i internally have an anxiety attack.
Pro move.
Classic cousin of the “realize a week later they were hitting on you and you blew it monumentally”
A week? What is this, professional hour?! Try a few years.
Real talk though, a wine and cheese date is amazing especially if you get wild with moldy cheeses and you both end up laughing at each others “weird cheese faces”
Make them laugh, easy day.
Bitches love cheese.
Her: So, you want anything to drink?
Wait are you hitting on them at their place of work, as a customer? Don’t fucking do that.
as a customer?
No, no, as her supervisor.
Ok, that’s funny. I’d go on a date with you.
You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up.
I hear that nose flick
This would be a huge turnoff for me, letting me know I’m dealing with an immature conceited person. Maybe forget “techniques” and be real. If they like you they do, if not who cares? Someone else will.
I hate flirting. I just don’t understand it. It’s this weird social dance that no one explains but expects people to understand. It all feels hypocritical that comes with unreasonable expectations.
The biggest source of frustration for me comes from the fact that I have to act in a way that says I am interested while not saying I am interested. That just does not work for me.
I don’t flirt. I don’t even try. I don’t want to be with someone flirty because from my past experiences, flirty people are also not straight forward about other parts of their true selves.
Flirty people also misinterpret a lot of my actions as a result of me not understanding flirting as well. Many flirty people from my experiences have assumed I am flirting. I was just being nice. I was treating them like a person. Just like I treat family like people. And friends like people. And strangers like people.
As a not flirty person, the number of times people have pushed me up against a wall and kissed me, or just jump to kissing me has been way more than I ever expected out of life. Each time has been equally confusing. I wasn’t flirting. I was just treating them how I wanted to be treated.
I have no advice to give but I have some thoughts to share from my life experiences. People like being treated like people. People who make mistakes. People who have their own thoughts and feelings. People who are themselves. I’ve made more genuinely close connections with people, intimate or not, by just treating people as people. And it’s really something as simple as that. Also having a genuine smile helps quite a bit too. When I smile because I’m enjoying the moment, I notice that it draws people towards me. It’s a type of energy that draws people in and it makes me feel even better about myself too.
I can relate to everything you’ve said here. You seem like a genuine and decent person, one I might like to have a conversation and exchange ideas. You seem like a person who, of our ideas on topics don’t align perfectly or at all, would make arguments that would be worth considering.
Thank you for letting me know you exist. I already feel richer, for it. 🪷
The thing is flirting is expected. It’s part of the communication. If you are not obvious enough things will not move on
Maybe forget “techniques” and be real.
For many people, being playful, like on OP’s example, is being real. I’m a playful person. I have generally been a class clown my entire life, and I’d even say it’s a pretty core part of my personality and my identity.
I’ve been married over 10 years, with kids, and I still do this kind of stuff with my wife. I enjoy being silly with my kids, too.
And when I was dating I’d rely pretty heavily on humor for flirting throughout all stages, from meeting a stranger to setting up a first date to being on a date, to going on multiple dates. The other person’s laughter was an indicator of whether we were making a connection. And then, later on, I learned that I could expect my partner to be funny too, and actively make me laugh.
Being fun and flirty is a legitimate strategy for making sure you have the opportunity to connect with people. It is, in itself, attractive to some. And it might be unattractive to others, but it’s better to be attractive to some and unattractive to others than it is to be forgettable and unnoticed.
If they like you they do, if not who cares?
I think this is a pretty naive way of looking at relationships. Connections require some level of effort, especially in adult life. As much as we’d all love to just naturally have friendships, romantic partners, and other relationships just fall into our laps, that’s not really how that works. Most connections require a bit of work to find others, to find commonalities, to develop interest, to have some give and take of making a deeper connection, to have some vulnerability and growth and change as that stranger becomes an acquaintance and develops into someone close.
For younger people, especially under 30, looking for a partner isn’t just about looking for someone they like now. It’s also someone they want to grow with and experience things together with.
This is true good advice. Being your actual self, while not always producing results will give you an actual connection when it’s real.
Aybe a good way to get a foot in the door as an ice breaker.
Once there, you can do the actual communication, no?I don’t think this is really a good way though. Perhaps with some small subset of people. I also don’t believe in repeating the same jokes every time. The delivery starts to feel too professional after a few repetitions and it shows the communication is not authentic.
For guys, saying “hi”.
For girls, I have to go hunting a Dragon with the sword of King Arthur to be considered worth of a cup of coffee.
Must a be one hell of a coffee.
